Sex Addicts Don’t like Sex
Updated: Jan 17
I love sex. What could be more gratifying than connecting with my partner through lovemaking?
Lovemaking means exactly how the word defined. We actually have the opportunity to generate more love. We do this by joining in a loving intimate union, not by using each other’s energy to regulate our emotional imbalances.
We can commune with each other by exchanging loving energy while we remain grounded in our own bodies without losing ourselves to one another.
Lovemaking energy is ecstatic; meaning that the energy has the ability to move, expand and rise. When we make love in this way we drop into a container of time and space where we can open to all the possibilities of deep connection. Physically, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, and spiritually, through all our senses, an unobstructed holistic connection.
We have no idea how much time we have on this earth together, but we do know that we have these magnificent moments.
This energy gives us the chance to get out of our mind’s judgments, fantasies, and laundry lists of things to do and allow ourselves to be present.
Making love this way is the most revolutionary thing you can do for yourself and for your relationship. It’s revolutionary because we have been conditioned from every possible source in our culture, that we shouldn’t take this time for ourselves and we should have sex the way we have been programmed to. This is false!
When you connect through authentic lovemaking you’re bringing respect back to your body and your relationship. Through relaxation-based lovemaking, your life force feels restored, refreshed, and rejuvenated rather than drained and used.
Through my discovery of this new approach to have sex, I came to an understanding: sex addicts don’t really like sex.
What they like is the rush of neurochemicals to the brain that keeps them hungry for more.
Porn is fabricated from novelty, with voyeurism that evaluates people by race and other genres, making it inevitable for a polyamory mindset to become the norm.
Most sex addicts are also intimacy anorexics. This means they prefer to either have fast-driven controlled sex or no sex at all with a real person.
This isn’t really sex. This might be better referred to as ‘getting off’.
There are a variety of names that have been trending for porn addiction recovery such as; no fap and no nut.
No matter what the object of their attention is, whether it’s porn, their wife, a prostitute, a happy endings massage worker the goal remains the same to get the dopamine fix not about connecting with a partner through intimacy to exchange loving energy and feelings.
The static (vs. ecstatic) energy of addictive sex allows for very little movement of energy in the body and concludes by discarding it.
Following the fundamental rules of modern neuroscience ‘what goes up, must come down, the neurochemical spikes and drops, bypassing the sweet spot of homeostasis.
This wreaks havoc on the whole body’s system but mainly the endocrine system. Ultimately the body can’t keep up and the dopamine receptors in the brain burn out and the body starts shutting down. This can then lead to porn-induced ED (erectile dysfunction).
Unfortunately for the partner of someone who is sex addicted, their needs can take the back seat and this impact can be devastating.
Those that enjoy connection-based lovemaking are destined to last. We are the pioneers on the brink of a whole new intimacy frontier and we can unequivocally say that lovemaking is necessary and we won’t settle for anything less!
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