Let’s Talk About: Making Toast? or A Baby?
When I was a girl I asked my mom the story of how I was conceived. She told me. But I felt there was something missing. Her story eluded to the fact that I was conceived instantly. This didn’t make any sense to me. How could I be this complex and be created in just a few minutes? I asked her again and she told me the same thing. It really was that quick!
If what she was saying is right…(and she always tells the truth) it took only a few minutes flat for my existence to be created.
WHAT? Wait, does that mean that it takes more time and effort to make a piece of toast than it does a human being?
What is going on here?
Shouldn’t something so intricate like ‘the miracle of life’ take good intention, planning and at least a few hours of cultivation?
Clearly, we are being cheated out of the experience of a lifetime to create a lifetime.
And sometimes it’s chosen for us. Lots of babies are conceived when the parents had no thought about having children, and are more than taken a back when the news reaches their ears.
A long time ago women were honored as sacred and their rituals were held to create boundaries around these sacred experiences. Unlike today, there was an understanding that sex is women’s domain, especially the rite of the creation of life. They felt that time was no object and the thought of a ‘quickie’ didn’t exist.
Sex in its most blissful form is a cultivation of love which takes time. Time for woman to open to man, time for man to give fully to woman. Our conditioning has cut us short when it comes to understanding how to make love authentically.
What if making a baby was a skill? A lengthy art with full devotion, a beautiful setting, and relaxation?
Because I live the Karezza Lifestyle, I can plainly see how my husband and I will be attentive to creating our children’s lives. We love having conversations about how we can bring all that we are to the creation process. How, when and where we would like to experience this phenomenon.
Lot’s of people say they want children, but they never say that they want the experience of making one. Why? They might say: ‘What’s the difference between making a baby and just having sex? To make one I just have sex the way I always do.’
What if, without you knowing it, the ‘sex’ you’re always having is creating distance between the two of you? And if that’s the case, you are not as close to your partner as you’d like to be when you choose to make a baby. It’s a set-up.
We are being set-up to fail at being a potential parent because over the years we have been conditioned to believe that we have no control. I’m aware of the control I have in how to co-create a sacred environment for lovemaking whether I’m conceiving or not. Just as important is the trust I have in my partner to do the same.
I can’t tell you how often I hear that men have made the choice for their wives or girlfriends to become a mother. When they weren’t ready themselves. If we can’t fully trust in sex, where do we trust?
Both partners have an obligation to be FULLY RESPONSIBLE for knowing how to make love by honoring the other.
I’m beginning to think that helping to create the environment for lovemaking maybe one of men’s favorite parts of the experience. I know that my husband is over the moon to be a Father and he loves knowing that he is a part of the whole process. He lights up with a bright smile every time he talks about it. Is it possible that men are not only missing out on lengthy rich lovemaking, but are also missing out on creating the protective space in which they co-create the conception of their child.
Women in turn are missing out and have felt terribly neglected by not receiving the presence that slowing down can bring. They are overjoyed to know that there is another way to bring about authentic lovemaking through loving connection that we’ve always felt was missing.
Are we really so busy in our lives that we cannot stop and bring attention to this sacred experience? Make love, not toast.