Its hard to do something slow when your use to doing it fast. Try eating slowly when your really hungry, or driving slowly when your late for an appointment.
When we go to make love were not late for an appointment. We’re here to enjoy the scenery, take everything in. We’re here to enjoy every moment that will be missed when going fast.
Allowing yourself to relax takes time, it doesn't come suddenly. It takes intention. You may feel like you want to fall asleep, just tune in to the sensitivities that you feel throughout your whole body. When thoughts come, allow them to come and go.
Once you tune in to relaxation as a daily practice sleepiness will lessen, and you will begin to separate the two.
Some keys to relaxation before sex:
-Take a bath. Splash in some bubbles or essential oil! By yourself or together(if your tub in big enough!).
-Lay in bed under the covers with your beloved and cuddle. Share some light conversation, talk about things you love.
-Massage hands and feet. These two places are used most durning work and daily stressors. Its easy and means so much! You'll see!
Try one tonight(or all three!). And just remember, when you feel anxiety come up acknowledge it and let it drift away.