If I had known that I was compromising my intimacy most of my life— I mean, if I really had stopped and thought about the effect this was having on my life I know that I would have found the answers that I needed and made drastic change.
Now that I do know this isn’t something that I will ever compromise, nor could I even if I wanted to, I see the big picture of how all aspects of my life were compromised by not being true to this part of myself. On one level it feels so complex that my mind can easily get spun into ‘I should’ve’ and ‘I could have done’ but what I know now about what is absolutely possible for my sexual life makes it all simple.
Nowadays, I have new software downloaded, for “handling” my emotions. I have a new and long forgotten sexual way of being with myself and my partner that no longer requires me (or him) to be anything that I’m not!
Relaxing rather than ramping up sexual tension is such a huge shift that you really can’t understand it fully until you experience it. The level of comfort that you can find in your body isn’t really believable until you’ve been on this path for a little while. Simple things that seemed hard all of sudden feel easy. In fact, there is an ease to everything in life. Sure you can always stumble and struggle when we are faced with the parts of our shadow that we haven’t worked through yet, but the trust and safety has already been established (literally re-wired in our brains) that we handle these times with much more balance than we ever dreamed we could. Did someone say REVOLUTION! Yuh huh! It’s coming and it isn’t a female or male led charge we are both in it and it leads us to an awakened monogamy, awakened self, and dare I say, Awakened Society! See you lovelies soon!