As we move into a new time in our culture it is imperative for women to begin to open to understanding man’s true experience. In my own life, throughout my marriage, there were miscommunications and just an overall way of being that caused me to feel like my reality and his were very different. I wanted to know what was happening for him and so I would ask him repeatedly. It never really dawned on me, until much later, that it was possible that he didn’t know either.
If I could speak to my younger self I would tell her that it was ok for me to follow my curiosity and seek answers to men’s experience on my own. It seemed to be a pandoras box that I was afraid to enter and it felt much easier to believe what I had been conditioned to believe my whole life “that’s just the way men are.” Turns out that was rubbish and there are many things for us to understand about man that can help us to establish a grounded compassion for them. It’s from this compassion that we can in turn help ourselves by relating to ourselves in a more compassionate skillful way. Which will lead us to the de-mystifying of man’s experience.
Unhealthy shame and guilt are usually the emotions that stand in the way of man relating their experience to us. The more we learn to hold our own emotions skillfully through emotional intimacy, healthy self attachment and sexual intimacy with ourselves then we are more capable of standing on solid ground to “handle” men’s experience as well!